The Truth About Scars

When I was a preteen I spent most of my time swinging. After school? Right out to the backyard. Snowing? Raining? One hundred degrees? Who cares! I would take my pink iPod Nano and listen to music and swing for hours. Usually during that time I would plot my books, which is something that I always do easier to music.

Nothing weird had really happened before. There were a couple of times when a chain would break and I would fall to the ground. But I never got seriously hurt, and it never made me stop swinging.

So one day in the summer before seventh grade we had something going on that night, with a few friends. I had been looking forward to it ever since I found out about it, and finally it was the night. I couldn't be anymore excited. But we still weren't leaving for four hours and mom was in the shower....so guess what I did? I went out and swung, just like I had any other day. I swung on the one at the end which had always gone at a weird angle. You couldn't go as high on that one, but I think the chains that broken on the others and we were in the process of fixing them.

I turned on my music and begin doing what I always did. But the swing lurched weird. Not like it hasn't happened before, I thought. But this time it was different It lurched again, but this time  both chains snapped and I fell on the ground.

I didn't know what was happening. All I saw was splintered wood falling. There was intense pain in my right leg.

When everything stopped spinning I evaluated the situation. I was on the ground. And so was the two hundred pound block of wood that went across out swing set.

I tried to call for help, but no one heard me. My phone was nearly dead, but I had just enough battery to call my mother, who came out and helped me. At first when I stood everything was spinning and I nearly blacked out. But I started feeling better as we got into the house.

Within a day I realized that what had happened was a miracle. Both chains had snapped at the exact same time. There is absolutely no explanation for it. And I flew off forward, not backwards or straight down. If either of those factors had been changed I wouldn't be typing this right now. I'd either be dead or paralyzed from the neck down. The wood would've either smashed my head or neck if I would've landed any other way or if the chains hadn't broke.

My leg had gotten hit with the chain of the swing. Hard. It hardly bruised but it hurt really bad to walk. I wondered why God didn't just let me be okay and enjoy the night. Not that I was really hurt. But still. It seemed like a random, incomplete miracle.

It wasn't until a year later that it finally dawned on me why my leg had been hit. I had been looking at the small, faded scar one day, when I realized something. I couldn't wait to tell someone.

The next day I went to lunch with my grandmother and told her what had been on my mind.

"Do you remember how I hurt my leg last summer?" I asked.

She answered with a, "Yes."

"Well I was thinking. That scar will always be there, but it will never hurt again. People might ask about it, people might think that it's ugly, but it will never, ever, cause me pain again."

I had been struggling with so many things in my sixth grade year, that I was almost positive would affect me forever. What's even more amazing to me, is that as the psychical scar heals, the emotional ones do too. That summer I learned one truth that I will always cling to. God heals psychically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Twenty Questions With a Fictional Character: Introducing Chrissi

Chrissandra "Chrissi" Crawford is from my currently unpublished book Ten Promises.


1.) Hello, Chrissi! Thanks for stopping by. To start this off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Hey, Natalie, thank you for having me on your blog. And as for your question, my name is Chrissandra Crawford, but I go by Chrissi or Chrissi Mae. I am seventeen years old and live in Florida. I spend most of my time walking the beach or hanging with my friends.

2.) Tell us about your family. What're they like?

I live with my dad, step mom, and four younger siblings Deanna (14), Eli (9), ZuZu (7), and Joab (3). I will admit that it can be a little bit hectic, but I love it. Although occasionally I wake up with a lizard on my arm or a certain brother licking my face. *coughsJoabcoughs*

3.) What's your favorite memory that has happened in the last six months?

Probably swimming in the ocean with my best friend. I actually went underwater which is a HUGE feat for me. Or there's that time that we went to the pizza place and the waiter dropped a pizza on De.... That was pretty great too. I spent thirty minutes trying to wash the pizza out of her white shorts.

4.) If you had to spend three weeks straight with one person and no one else who would you choose?

Does it count if the person is dead? I would choose Desiree. Just because I haven't seen her for so many years! Well there's my mother too....

5.) Would you rather be out with friends or at home alone?

I love being with my friends. But I also like to read! So this question isn't fair.

6.) Describe the place that you live.

I live in Rose Hill, Florida. Rose Hill is in Southern Florida, and is very close to beaches. You can walk to one from almost any house. In the middle of the town there's a hill filled with rose bushes(where we got our name. ;D ). A man planted one every month after his wife had died. And I guess the tradition stuck.

7.) If you could live anywhere, where would you choose?

Australia maybe? It's something about their accents that makes me think that I might fall in love there.

8.) What do you think of school?

School.  It's okay. I'm weird though. I'd rather go for the academics than the people. Besides Ross and McKenzie I can't really say that I met anyone I'm all that fond of.

9.) What is your favorite subject?

My favorite subject is probably English. Well more specifically literature. Chemistry is pretty cool too.

10.) If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

Conceited. Selfish. Perfectionist. Hello, this is Chrissi's sister Deanna. I'm stealing the keyboard for a couple of seconds. Awesome. Fun. Amazing. Okay, Chrissi, you can have it back now.
11.) What do you do for fun?

Well, I already said that I like to read a lot. Watch TV. Hang out with family and friends.

12.) What do you want to be when you grow up?

Ha! What am I, five? Okay, I have absolutely no idea.

13.) If you could change one thing from your past what would you do?

I would make it so Desiree hadn't died.

14.) Do you want to get married one day? If so do you want kids? How many?

I do! And I want two kids, one girl and one boy. And I'm going to name them McKenna and Isaac.

15.) What are your religious views?

I believe in and serve the one living God who has saved me and can save anyone else.

16.) What is your favorite color?

Favorite color....orange? Pink? All of them?

17.) What is your favorite food?

I like fruit and French fries. Which I know is an odd combination.

18.) What person do you care most about?

Yeah. Not even answering one.

19.) What is the strangest thing you have ever done?

Strangest? Probably when Elia and I  tried planking at a McDonald's in England. We're so lame.

20.) What do you think of your author?

Nat, are you just looking for someone to brag about you or what? ;) She's okay. She's been nice to me compared to some other characters.....

A Message For All Woman

Tonight I'd like to share will you something that every single woman needs to hear. It changed my self image. It helped me realize one of life's biggest truths for a Christian girl: I am a princess. I am loved so much that my Father died a HORRIBLE death for me. I mean, I already knew this. But when stated this way it's so powerful.
 
So ladies, watch it. Enjoy it. There also is a guys' one available upon request.
 
 
A Message for All Woman: Click here 
 
 
I would love to hear responses on this. Does it change your point of view like it did mine?

It's the Little Things that Count

I guess this would go under "Somewhat Profound Thoughts". But honestly? That's what at least half of my posts will be. I think a lot. Actually, I spend most of my time thinking. Yes, half of the time it is about writing or books. But the other half of it is what I really find interesting and compelling. What do you guys really want to hear about though? My books? Writing advice? Book reviews? My thoughts? I have some pretty cool testimonies too. God has worked miracles in my life, two times (I know many, many more, but these are the two He's let me see) and both times I could've ended up dead if one circumstance was changed. *is officially sidetracked*

Anyways. Onto the post.

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He was dead. The news had gotten passed throughout the whole entire town and now each person was haunted with one fact: they could've stopped him.
He had killed himself. And why? He had walked through town. Spent hours walking throughout the stores and streets and told himself that if one person smiled at him, he wouldn't do it.  But no one did. This man had an ugly face, and scarred arms, telling of an unbearable past and a stigma that drew people away from him. He wanted one friend. One act of kindness would even work. But after twelve hours no one offered him the simple kindness. So he went home and pulled the trigger.

Sad thing is, I heard of a story that was similar to this. People weren't able to even offer this man a smile, which led him to think that he was worthless. And it leads me to think this: How am I affecting people? Am I showing people that there is hope?

Hope is what we're craving that will never change. (Crave, For King and Country)

Could the simple act of me looking up at someone in the store and smiling save a life? Could it make me a new friend? There's a lot of questions like this that can be asked, but I think that the most important one is: Am I showing the lost world the Love of my Savior?

Matthew 5:16

      Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which is in heaven.

I know this is short, but it's something that I've been thinking about, so I thought that I would share. After all, it is the little things that count.

Your Not So Average "Hello My Name is..." Post

When I was younger I would have my parents write down the words that I would say, do some stick figure drawings, and those would be my books. Even at a young age I loved to write, but I grew up with listening to people moaning and saying, “Aww, I have to write!” So why should I like it? At five years old I had my mind set on one thing. I was going to be a singer.

“I don’t think I’m as shy as I used to be,” I said to my mom one day as she was working in the kitchen at our old house. The kitchen was so small that it was like stepping into fire every time that the stove was on. I could tell that my mom was listening, so I continued. “I think that I want to start singing for people.”

I had a church girl’s voice, soft and pretty, and if I would’ve decided to stick to singing in church (which I never did have enough guts to actually do) I might have been able to keep that voice.

But I took my soft voice and tried to change it to a voice that I never would be able to master. A voice that the world would want to listen to, not just a church congregation.

In fifth grade I slowly began to change. Some things were good. I learned that I loved to write. In other ways it was bad. I had no security of salvation whatsoever, and I was heading down the long path. I didn’t understand salvation. I didn’t understand why every time that I prayed a meaningless, desperate prayer nothing changed.

 By the time that fifth grade was over I had tried to write a couple of books, and I was slowly settling into the life of insecurity I was living. Maybe that’s just how things would work. And…if that’s how it was going to be, what could I do to change it?

So I lived my life. I wrote, I read, I played volleyball, and I continued to pray desperate, meaningless prayers.

Wouldn’t you think that the big change happened in my life when I switched from public school to a private Baptist school? Well no. It was three years after that, this year to be exact. Things kept on coming up where I had to think about my life. “Natalie, would you like to get baptized?” I wasn’t sure if I was a Christian. “Natalie, could you please write out your testimony?” Well…if I can figure out if I’m saved or not….

                Somewhere amidst all of the confusion, a thought hit me right in the face, and I realized why my prayers were meaningless and why they hadn’t saved me. Because they were WORDS. It was all about my heart, kneeling before my Savior and Lord, and asking him to save me from everything that I deserve.

            And now I have assurance of salvation. I have security in the fact that Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me.

            And guess what? Now I have the ability to be happy, because I’m myself, and because Jesus is my God and my heart I have a meaning.

            Will trials still come? Of course.

            But with God by my side, I have nothing to fear.